The info pack Winston received from Nish was shockingly light on detail for Ireland as a whole.
It was still libraries' worth of knowledge but when you wanted something specific like "What food is edible in Dublin for Conservator metabolism?", "Can we consume Guinness? " and "Where can you find a drug dealer at 9am in the morning in the city centre?" the results were still pretty shit in Kyle's eyes.
There were 3 suggestions for the last one so Kyle began his investigation into the reasons for increased drug trade in the city. The answers to the other 2 questions were "Most food is edible though we don't believe coddle is (do not search for images)" and "Yes but not during active duty (though you are on constant duty until all objectives have been complete)."
As he walked down Abbey St Kyle began to think the info he had received was outdated, the area was awash with busy commuters, renovated coffee shops and the dings of an active light tram system.
That assumption was dashed a moment later. "Want any gear?" the voice said in the loudest hushed tone imaginable. Standing in front of Kyle was a teenager, no more than 16, makings of a pencil mustache appearing, hoodie up over his head with a large winter jacket covering him. He had a gym bag slung over his shoulder and was bringing it around to display the contents.
Kyle spoke to the pubescent peddler just as he had seen deals go down on the shows the AI had trained them all on transit to Earth. He had this in the bag, no problem.
"Yo, what's good my man? Yeah, lemme get some of your good shit?" Kyle said offering out his hand for a cupped embrace. A dap he thought it was called.
The dealer stared at the hand "What da fook is wrong with you? Are you a yank or sum'min?"
Kyle lowered his hand.
"WHAAAAT ARRRRRRE YOUUUU LOOOOOOOKING FORRRRR, ya thick cunt?" the dealer said slowly and loudly as he did with all foreigners.
"Oh right, yeah, eh sorry" Kyle fumbled out. He had trained years for that interaction. "I'll take whatever your best stuff is".
The dealer looked Kyle over once more, sighed "Ah here if ya don't even know what ya want ya can fook off out of me face" he continued though as he rummaged though the bag "I've got weed, coke, crack, meth, speed, MDMA and E's".
Kyle knew of all those. He figured the one to look out for would be something different. "Is that all you've got, I heard there was something stronger on the market?"
"Yeah I have it but I thought you yanks only wanted party shit. To be fair, ya look like you've been sleeping in piss so I'd believe you're on for stronger tack". The dealer half correctly guessed. "Is it Methanyl ya want?" holding out a small iridescent baggie of fine crystals.
"That sounds about right" Kyle replied as the young dealer produced a small baggie "Any chance you take crypto?".
"Are you fooking jokin'?" the dealer stared at him intently "It's all we bleedin' take now. No one's tracking that shit" a wide smile plastered across his face. Just then Kyle noticed a missing tooth.
"I still can't believe the humans gave monetary value to mathematical equations" Winston chirped in Kyle's ear "It's like they're asking to be conquered".
He had been going over this topic for the best part of 15 minutes as Kyle walked back to the base.
Winston estimated that the Luytens would have easily made a few billion in crypto over the last 3 years and would be funding all their initial projects through it.
The Mother AI on board the Rubin had begun to gather some crypto herself as they approached Earth. Not a lot as they didn't want to alert any Luytens who were probably now looking for similar anomalies in the blockchains, but enough to "adequately cover expenses" for each agent.
Kyle interrupted the AI mid rant "Yes, yes, they're all idiots compared to you. More importantly, when do I get some discretionary funds now that you're loaded?"
"Nice try Mr Lewis, I'll be controlling the accounts for, well, forever" Winston replied cheerily.
Back at the base Kyle looked for potential slots in the comms unit to insert the narcotics. Exasperated he eventually asked "Okay, I give up, where's the analyser on this thing?"
"I'm sorry, what would an analyser be?" Winston replied.
"A device for analysing things. What else would it be?" Kyle asked back. "Maybe it's got another name or whatever. Point me in the direction of where I go to get the contents of this little bag of drugs analysed. Pretty please?"
The arrow from a compass spun around wildly on Winston's watch face but it eventually exploded into multiple question marks.
"There's nothing like that here. Progress further with your missions and you should eventually find a mobile analysis option" Winston said. "Or you could try and access a laboratory in the city to check it yourself though I haven't found you to be much of a chemist so far".
"Very helpful, thanks".
Kyle weighed the baggie in his hand, inspected the small crystals inside for a moment, tossed the bag up in the air for a second and tried to decide something. He didn't have time to waste around in Ireland for any longer than was necessary.
"Winstonnnnnnnnnn? You're probably not going to let me die, right?" Kyle asked. Without waiting for a response he opened the small bag and dumped half of its content directly into his mouth.
"What have you done Kyle?" Winston asked "Why would you do that?".
"I know one thing that is constantly monitored and assessed, my body" Kyle replied smugly though the grimness of that statement wasn't lost on him. "Now, I've just ingested a large quantity of drugs and my bet is that if you think it might kill me because it has a lot of Luyten compounds in it you're going to do an analysis of my bloodstream to see exactly what's going on there"
"Mr Lewis, that is the dumbest…." Winston suddenly stopped "Oh God damn it! Methamphetamines, fentanyl, traces of rat poison, sodium bicarbonate, curry powder? and yes, a compound consistent with Luyten biochemistry"
Kyle raised his arms in the air and said "I fucking knew it!". Just then he froze, cocked his head to the side and felt a rush to his head. "Woah-ho-ho. That is fast acting".
"What's happening? Tell me what you're feeling" Winston said urgently.
"I think I know why people like this stuff" Kyle finally lowered his arms down on to his head and rubbed his hair gently "I feel like I'm connected to everything."
The walls melted away, his vision stretched out, his mind sped towards all of humanity.
"Okay, that's enough of that then" Winston announced.
With that a message appeared on the watch face that Kyle wasn't paying attention to "Purge Protocol!".
Kyle once again froze, cocked his head to the opposite side and felt another rush….of vomit as it erupted up from his stomach and out of his mouth. He could feel the nanites actively flushing the drugs from his whole body.
After 30 seconds of continuously spewing Kyle collapsed in a heap, narrowly missing the puddle of puke that lay in front of him.
"And how do you feel now Mr Lewis?" Winston asked.
"Vindicated" Kyle croaked out, still on the floor. Drool dribbled from his mouth.
Kyle lay down for another 15 minutes but eventually crawled to his knees and made it out the hall and over to the planned office bathroom. A single tap was actively working.
Craning his head down Kyle rinsed out his mouth, put his head slightly under the water and finished off with a large gulp from the steady stream.
Walking back in to the operations room he noticed the puddle of vomit had mostly disappeared.
Before he could ask Winston chimed in "I instructed the purged nanites to rapidly burn off the compounds from the vomit and wait to cool before being reabsorbed."
Kyle nodded but then a horrifying realisation hit "I'm sorry, you can get the nanites to superheat themselves? Can you do that when they're inside me?"
"Noooo, of course not…I tried it to more easily dispel the narcotics internally but my programming won't allow it" Winston said happily.
Kyle couldn't be sure if he was joking or not but he was too exhausted now to care. Right now he wanted to know the results. "So what was that stuff? What are we dealing with here?"
"Oh I have no idea and nor do I care" Winston replied.
"What? Why the hell not? That's critical intel Winston!" Kyle shouted.
"Critical Intel for someone else. Not my area though." Winston replied "I've sent it on to Dr Hamilton to evaluate but my primary role is to evaluate you".
Kyle put his head in his hands.
"On that note, I have a partial mission completion assessment for you" Winston added.
"Nice, lay it on me" Kyle said.
"Your Social rank has been slightly increased for potentially confirming a connection between the Luytens and the increased drug epidemic across the country…" Winston informed. A congratulatory ping rang from the watch.
Kyle performed a little ironic fist pump at that.
Winston continued "…but for consuming narcotics and working while intoxicated you have been deducted a similar amount of social credit. I'm feeling generous; let's basically call that a wash and start anew". A sad trombone noise followed the announcement.
"What the fuck Winston? What else was I meant to do?" Kyle screamed.
"Maybe follow the correct protocols and procedures and you won't run into these type of penalties again" Winston said.
Kyle stared up to the ceiling, closed his eyes, inhaled deeply and clenched his jaw. He truly despised this system sometimes.
"Not to fret Mr Lewis, there are additional opportunities to improve your ranking. One specific auxiliary mission should be somewhat achievable this evening in fact" Winston said.
Kyle exhaled sharply having held his breath for some time "Really? And what new adventure could possibly lie ahead of us?"
"Dunsink Observatory has a Visitors evening from 7pm" Winston said cheerily "This would be a perfect chance for you to take a look around at its capabilities and see if you garner some additional details from Ms Flanagan on her specifics"
"Hoo-ray" Kyle made with half-hearted fist pump.